Güneş (n: sun)

Thank goodness!  The sun has returned to Ankara.  This winter has been really mild (though I’m comparing it to the crazy winter of Sarajevo last year).  Before anyone tells me that Ankara was way bad last year and I don’t understand a crazy winter, let me present my evidence:

Yes, that is my old front walkway.  Yes, we had to dig trenches for Olive.

Yes, that is my old front walkway. Yes, we had to dig trenches for Olive.

And that was just from one weekend (about 1.5 meters (that’s 5 feet, but you know it’s bad when the weather reporters discuss snow forecasts in meters) total).  It kept snowing for a month.  Anything else about how bad the winter was here last year?

But let’s get back to the happiness.  The sun has made other appearances, but today was the first truly lovely day.  It didn’t hurt that I had a full schedule that included a couple of outdoor excursions so I noticed it more.  The weather was warm (in the sun) and Olive loved it!  We got to go and just sit in the sun for a bit while puppy sniffed EVERYTHING.  And it makes me even more excited about extending my “garden”.  I trimmed up all the herbs yesterday and am excited about them growing more in the sun — I even put them on the back patio for a couple of hours of fresh air and direct sun.  Tomorrow is supposed to be just as nice, but I’m not getting too excited.  Yet.  Tomorrow all bets are off about my excitement!

Ay (n.: month, moon)

With less than one month until my 30th birthday, I realize I will not be accomplishing my 30 in 30 by the time I turn 30.  When I started this list, it was to give me something fun to keep me busy with and blogging about.  It seems that neither has really been the case.  Not to say I have not been busy, but I’ve not necessarily been busy with the things I listed in my “to do” list and I’ve been less than stellar about keeping up with this blog.

I recently got back from a short trip to the States.  It was exactly what I needed in so many ways: friends, comfortable small talk (read: in English with strangers), baby spinach, yoga classes that I wasn’t teaching, etc.  I’m so very glad I went and at the same time a little more homesick now that I’m back.  Don’t get me wrong, I am so happy to be back with Mr. Awesome and puppy girl, but I am also quite ready to be back in the US on a more permanent basis.  I know we have another two years (at least) here in Ankara and I’m still thankful for that time, but I am now most definitely also looking forward to going back.

While I was in the States, I realized I need to give being here a better chance.  I need to let go of what I wish it were like and who I wish were here with me and instead embrace what it is.  I need to do better making new friends and accept the people in my life as they are.  I need to be as confident at trying new things alone here as I am in the States.  I need to accept that Mr. Awesome will be stuck working obscene hours for ridiculous (and not-so-ridiculous) issues.  And I need to give myself a break when I can’t accept and do all these things all the time.  I hope to add these and many others to my list of ongoing things to do/see/accomplish.

Being less than a month away from my 30th birthday, I realize that much like New Year’s Resolutions, accomplishing a list of things before a certain date is sort of silly.  It should be a continuous process.  I started the list as a way of coping with a big birthday… turning 30 is scary, right?  It’s the first major milestone birthday that isn’t associated with getting new privileges and therefore is going over and down the proverbial hill, right?  Yet somehow looking down the barrel at 30 I strangely feel… nothing.  Yet.

Geçmiş Olsun (idiom, roughly: May it Pass Quickly)

I was toying with what to call title this post… safety? security? peace? tragedy?   But then I realized the best title would be the saying that is used so universally here and one I’ve heard a lot in the past day, “geçmiş olsun”.  This phrase is used for illness, car accidents, any sort of upset to the norm really.  And apparently, for suicide attacks on embassies.  I’d like to write all about how it felt and sounded and smelled (you wouldn’t think about that, would you?).  I’m just not there yet. I know I will be, but until then, to all of us: geçmiş olsun.

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